Do you know why you’re here?
Carl Jung once said,
”Nothing so affects the life of a child as a parent’s unfulfilled life.”
I knew a woman who was born in the early 1920’s. She was a quite intelligent, insightful, introspective, creative woman. She graduated valedictorian of her high school class, and was offered a full scholarship to attend college. This was around 1940.
But her mother, who had been born before the turn of the century, wouldn’t let her go to college because she said “That’s where young girls go to get pregnant.” So what did this woman do? Heartbroken, she stayed home, got married and got pregnant. She had her first child at age 19, and she had her sixth at age 39.
Though she loved her children, she never expressed the gifts she carried inside. She lived most of her adult life very depressed, full of despair. Some days she couldn’t even get out of bed. Then at the age of 64, my mother died having never really lived.
Her story itself is heart-breaking. But reflecting on Carl Jung’s statement, “Nothing so affects the life of a child as a parent’s unfulfilled life”, how do you imagine her life affected the lives of her six children, and their children, and their children after that? Can you imagine the beliefs that were imprinted on the lives of those she cared about, just as the beliefs of her own mother were imprinted on her?
She was trapped inside a box whose borders were labeled “you can’t have what you want”, “girls aren’t supposed to achieve success”, “you have an obligation to your family, your children”, “to want for yourself is selfish”, “you might as well not even try to be free”.
Most people, especially parents, have experienced voices that tell them that to pursue their own dreams is selfish. To want for yourself somehow excludes the needs of those whom you care for. When in fact, if you believe Carl Jung’s statement, living a fulfilled life may actually be the most unselfish thing you can do.
If you dare to break out of the box of your family dynamic and challenge the beliefs that you learned and took for granted to be true, you not only free yourself, but you open up a whole new course for those around you – your children, nieces, nephews and loved ones. Suddenly, they can look around and say “someone like me, cut from my cloth has achieved something bigger than me. Maybe it’s not out of my reach to do that too. Can you imagine what would have happened if the woman, my mother, would have chosen to pursue her dreams? How her life and the lives of her children would have been different? She not only would have expanded her own horizons, but the horizons of all those who know her, and all those she loved.
Each and every one of us has a spark inside of us. A purpose. A reason we’re here. It’s unique for each of us, and it’s the key to true fulfillment.
We get caught up in getting through day after day, and it can be hard to feel that spark, to listen to what it’s saying to us. But if we learn how to listen, it’s not so hard. And there are ways to get help.
I have a good friend, Mary Fleming, from Florida, who dedicates her life to help others to know their purpose and to learn to LIVE their purpose. She’s become quite a master at it. She helped me to see that speaking to large audiences is a part of fulfilling my life’s purpose – that’s why I now attend Toastmasters. And when I heard this it rang true for me. I had had dreams about it, had envisioned it. Yet working with her opened up the path for me and helped me take the steps to move along that path. And every time I take a step in that direction, it’s not work – it’s motivating, inspiring, fulfilling – it’s fun.
But taking this step takes courage. It’s not easy to make such a deep change. The thought of being big is scary.
Marianne Williamson said,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So I leave you with this question: Do you have the courage to lift the barriers and live your life with purpose? What change will you make in yourself today? What step can you take to brighten your life and the lives of those you love?
Spirituality – Self-Sacrifice or Self-Care?
Do you consider yourself a spiritually-connected person? I do, and yet I find myself time after time falling short of caring for my physical body in a way that best serves me. I skip breakfast or the morning workout so I can cram in one more errand on the way to work; I commit to more than I can comfortably deliver and end up short-changing my time for spiritual practices and meditation that I need to rejuvenate myself; or I eat too fast or don’t get enough sleep because someone I care about needs me.
We live busy lives. We work hard, we care for others, we have a lot to do – too much to be so selfish as to take time to care for our own bodies. And yet, what are our bodies? And what has caring for the body got to do with spirituality?
Our bodies are a miraculous system of life that transport our spirits through their journeys while on this earth. What is your body without your spirit? When your spirit leaves, your body dies; your body has no more life. While you are alive and traveling on this earth, your body is the bridge for your spirit to this material existence. Through your body, you sense, see, hear, feel, taste, experience, reason and analyze. Through your body, you learn the important lessons that your soul has come here to learn.
Through your body, you manifest the purposes for which your soul was brought here and you experience the challenges and fulfillment of those manifestations. And through your body you can bring forth new life through which another soul can travel and experience and learn.
Your body is much more than flesh and bones. When you neglect to care for it, you are neglecting to care for your soul and spirit.
When you repeatedly short-change your time for yourself, you are short-changing your soul’s opportunity to receive what it needs from its limited journey in this plane of existence.
Therefore, to truly care for ourselves, we must be connected to our hearts, our souls, our spirits, and God’s intention for us on this earth. And if we are truly connected to our hearts, souls and spirits, we will place optimal self-care at the top of our priority lists.
Being spiritual is not about self-sacrifice. It’s about self-care. And in order to know how to care for ourselves, we must be self-aware and connected to our souls and spirits – why we’re here, how we relate to others, what we need and how to care for all of this. After all, this is all part of the journey – the “why we’re here”. It’s the journey of illumination and the illumination of the journey.
Remembrance – A Spiritual Detox
Remembrance is a simple yet powerful practice for connecting with the presence of the Divine and calling upon that presence to cleanse your heart. This practice is the cornerstone of the spiritual healing work that we use.
First, when I talk about the Divine, I think of that everlasting life force that runs through all of creation like electricity, giving life to all things and connecting us to all that exists in both the seen and unseen worlds. Its essence is Unity, where there is only One, and yet it contains many qualities, such as Unconditional Love, Compassion, Truth, Mercy, Friendship, Equality and Freedom. These are all things that are always present within and around us, and they are the keys to our healing and spiritual growth.
Remembrance is, as the name suggests, remembering this presence and calling upon the essence of Unconditional Love and Unity to fill our hearts. When this essence fills our hearts it does many things. Here are a few:
- It washes away pain, hurt, old memories and unsupportive beliefs, such as voices that tell us we’re unworthy or undeserving.
- It ignites that light in our hearts that is the source of our inner knowing of truth and connection with all things, allowing it to grow and shine.
- It connects us with all that is and helps us to see the world from a new perspective.
- It brings us out of our busy minds and into our bodies and hearts, helping to calm us, center and ground us, so that we can live with more ease and peace.
So, are you ready to learn this simple practice? Here it is:
The process begins with an invocation. Call to the Divine by a Sacred Name.
What is meant by a Sacred Name? A Sacred Name is a name for the Divine in a sacred language, such as Arabic or Aramaic. Words spoken in these ancient languages carry the vibrational frequencies of the meanings of what the words represent. For instance, everything has energy which resonates at a certain frequency. Sounds are resonant frequencies. In a Sacred Language, when you call to The One, you are invoking the energetic frequency of the essence of the Sacred Presence.
The Sacred Name in Arabic is Allah, meaning The One. In Aramaic, the Name is Allaha. When you say the Name, elongate the “aaah” sound. The “aaah” is the sound that resonates at the frequency of the heart center of the human body. This will help to open your heart to receive the Presence.
These Names also contain the “LL” sound. When you touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth in making the “LL” sound, you are completing the circuit between two energetic pathways, called the governing and conception vessels in Chinese medicine.
Try the names and feel what works for you. I use the Name, Allah, said “Allaaah”. In our US culture today, many associations have been made with the Arabic Name that are not in agreement with the word’s actual meaning. Try to let go of any preconceived ideas that have been associated with this Sacred Name and allow yourself to feel the true meaning. These Names were used before the religions were developed. If you’re not comfortable with the Arabic, try the Aramaic Allaha, said “Allaaaha”. Aramaic is said to be the language that Jesus spoke.
Begin to repeat the Name in a soft voice or just under your breath. Invoke the presence of the Source of Truth and Healing, the Unity of all creation. Feel this presence before you as you would your most intimate and trusted friend. For this is your most intimate and trusted friend.
Feeling the presence of the Divine and the light in your heart, continue to repeat the Sacred Name directly into your heart, as if you are placing the words into the center of your heart space with your breath. Elongate the “aaah” sound and feel your heart space relax with each breath. Allow the essence of the Divine to flow into your heart like water to wash away anything that does not resonate with the truth of who you are and keeps you from living in the Divine Reality.
If you can, continue this practice for 15 to 30 minutes or more. Don’t worry if you don’t “feel” anything right away. It can sometimes be very subtle and other times very powerful. Keep working with it every day if you can. It’s a great way to start the day, and best if you can do it just before sunrise when the earth is still and quiet.
This is the cornerstone practice that is used throughout the CAREFOR Connection process, the 7-step healing process that we will use in our work together. For more information, see Spiritual Healing.